


Giving In

by MosherEndgame



Category: Shameless (US), Shameless (US) RPF
Genre: Actors, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Closeted Character, Comfort, First Time, Friendship/Love, Gay, Infidelity, M/M, Making Love, Panic Attacks, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 09:12:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MosherEndgame/pseuds/MosherEndgame
Summary: After filming THAT scene from 3x6, Cameron has trouble detaching himself from the emotions of his character. Noel is worried about his friend and in the midst of trying to comfort Cam, he finds he can't resist his feelings for his costar any longer.





	Giving In

**Author's Note:**

> At this point Cam and Noel are very good friends, both aware of their feelings for each other. They've made out a couple times, but it's basically all been very innocent. Both of them have been with other men but are in the closet publically. Noel is still dating and cares about Layla, but he has only stayed with her out of habit due to how long they have been together.
> 
> Sides: Small cards that are given to an actor to tell them what scenes they have to film that day and when.  
> PA: Production Assistant

"Cut!" Anthony, this week's director, exclaimed, sliding his headphones to his neck and turning to review the shot.

Cam watched as Noel extracted himself from the girl, Isidora, as a PA brought them robes. Cam stood to grab his from beside the chair he was sitting on, his eyes downcast and cloudy. It was always hard to extract himself from an emotional scene, but this one in particular was eating at him, his heart still clenching painfully.

He could feel Noel's eyes on him but avoided them, waiting for Anthony to tell them they have all the shots they need so he can go back to his trailer and be alone. 

"Hey," Noel called quietly, intending only for Cam to hear it amidst the bustle of noise from the crew. "You good?"

Cam's eyes flicked up to Noel's concerned face, jerkily nodding his head once, before turning to stare at the crew in front of the monitors in the next room. 

"Alright that's a wrap. Excellent stuff guys, you're good to go," Anthony said. 

_Thank god_ , Cam thought, his eyes flicking up to meet Noel's which were locked on him, concern evident in his features. He could tell he was about to ask him what was wrong again, and he was not up for talking. Turning abruptly, the redhead started for the stage exit, practically jogging off set. 

According to his sides that was his last scene of the day and he couldn't wait to get to his trailer to shower off the sticky fake blood and the horrible scene he just took part in.

********************************************************

He's pulling on his jeans as a knock sounds on his trailer door. Buttoning them up, he walks to open it, running his hand over his buzzed hair.

It's Noel. Of course. Normally he's elated to see the older man, but right now he just wants to be alone to decompress. 

Noel's eyes drop to Cam's bare torso, unintentionally lingering as he admires the cut of his muscles under bare flesh.

"Hey man," he says softly, snapping out of his lustful gaze. "You alright? You kinda flew off set back there."

"Yeah I'm good," Cam replies as Noel walks up the steps into the trailer. He leans back against the counter of the tiny kitchenette, watching his co-star shut and lock the trailer door.

"Hmm," the brunette hums, clicking his tongue, his appraising eyes all over the redhead’s face. "You wanna try again?"

Cam sighs, his shoulders slumping as he runs his hands over his face. Sometimes he hates how intuitive Noel is to his moods. "It was a rough scene, just kinda stuck in my own head. Having some trouble decompressing."

"Yeah," Noel exhaled, moving to lean on the counter next to Cam, their shoulders brushing. "It was rough at the table read, but actually filming it... it's so fucked up. It's hard to believe that conversion therapy is a thing. I mean, obviously not everyone's parents are gonna hire a Russian hooker for their kid and then actually watch it happen..."

They both laughed, Noel's attempt at levity only slightly helping the situation. They fall silent again, Cam staring at a spot on the wall and Noel staring at Cam. The redhead turns his eyes back to his co-star, hesitating to say what he wants to. The older man can tell, bumping his friend with his shoulder before stating, "Spill. What's on your mind?"

Cam inhales deeply, green eyes locked on blue, heart pounding, "The conversion stuff, yea that was hard to imagine, but that's not why I'm ---- it's not what's...." 

His breathing grows erratic, making it hard to continue, panic welling up in his chest. Noel recognizes the impending attack, having helped the redhead through them before, and moves to stand between Cam's outstretched legs, his hands reaching up to cup the sides of his friend's face.

"Hey hey! Breathe. Deep breath in, slow... breathe out..." The men keep their eyes locked together, breathing in sync, Noel gently coaxing Cam through the panic until he’s calm again. 

Cam wraps a hand around each of Noel's wrists, closing his eyes before he speaks. 

"Watching that, and feeling that pain... Ian had to watch his boyfriend have sex with someone else... he had to watch his boyfriend being fucking raped. I can't even imagine having to --" Cam takes another deep breath, opening his eyes again, the intense pain and love staring back at the brunette nearly knocking him off his feet. "It wasn't real, but it fucking hurt to see it, and to imagine you having to --- fuck I... I know it's not the same, but you do feel stuck and locked in with a woman that hasn't made you feel much for years. I can't stop picturing you with her… when all I want is for you to be with me."

Noel's heart thuds heavily against his chest, the intensity of Cam's admission knocking the wind out of him. He’s frozen. He knows he should say something, do something.

Cam's staring at him, tears pooling in his eyes.

_Say something._

_Noel! Get yourself together._

_Say something!!_

"I--" he starts, his hands still locked on the younger man's face, his tears spilling over. Cam turns his head and digs the heel of his hand into Noel's chest in an attempt to put some space between them. The brunette resists, instead pulling Cam into a hug, their faces buried in each other's shoulders.

Noel is fighting back his own tears as Cam cries silently against him. He fucked up. He fucked up in so many ways. He fucked up by staying closeted. He fucked up by staying with Layla for this long. He fucked up by letting his attraction to the redhead cloud his judgement enough for them to get to this point. He's about to fuck up again, but he can't stop himself now. It hurts so bad and he can't fight it anymore.

He pulls back slightly, his thumbs reaching up to wipe away the tears on his friend's cheeks. His eyes sweep over the redhead's face briefly before their eyes lock, the air thick, the shift in mood palpable. Cam takes a deep breath and leans forward, his forehead softly bumping Noel's. He reaches out a hand to grasp the back of the older man's neck, gently stroking his finger tips across warm skin. 

Noel closes the small distance between them, his lips gently brushing Cam's before pulling back. It barely counts as a peck, but it's affecting them both, puffs of air mixing in the minuscule space between their mouths.

Cam takes a shuttering breath, pressing his lips heavily against Noel's. He reciprocates with fervor, one hand dropping to the small of Cam's bare back, pulling their bodies flush. The younger man moans in response, his hand clutching the back of Noel's head, lips parting, tongue peaking out to meet the soft wet heat of Noel's mouth. 

The gentle caress of their tongues turns feverish, soft gentle kisses being replaced with pressing lips and urgent mouths. Noel pushes forward, shuffling his feet to guide them backward until they reach the couch. Their lips stay locked together as he presses a hand to Cam's chest, forcing him to sit. He moves over Cam, his shins flush again the bottom cushion, thighs meeting thighs as he straddles the redhead. 

Cam's hands drop to Noel's hips, pulling him closer, pressing their chests together. The kiss shifts, Noel's tongue tangling against Cam's, their mouths never getting the chance to close. Cam's body begins to buzz with anticipation, the feeling spreading through his limbs, becoming a living breathing thing that he feels powerless to fight against. This is different than it has been in the past. Noel isn't stopping. He's not slowing down, his ass beginning to gently grind against Cam's filling cock.

Cam rips his mouth away from soft lips, pulling back, panting roughly. Noel leans forward, his body automatically chasing the retreating heat. The redhead presses a hand to Noel's chest, gentle but insistent on keeping them apart.

"What are we... what's happening here?" Cam gasps, greens eyes searching for the usual hesitation on his friend's face. 

"I don't want to fight it anymore, " Noel replies, his voice steady and his hand reaching up to stroke the short hairs at the base of the redhead's neck. 

"Fight what?" Cam whispers, unable to resist leaning in to brush his nose against his partner's.

Noel's arms slide up to wrap around Cam's neck, his words an exhale against the his cheek, "How badly I want you," Noel replies possessively, "Your mind... your body. I want everything and I'm done pretending I don't."

The redhead's breath hitches, his glossy eyes moving to stare into blue, "But what about-"

"Don't..." Noel starts, his eyes clenching shut as he gulps down the guilt, "Don't talk about her. Right now, it's just you and me. Just us and what we need from each other."

Cam nods mindlessly, knowing that they really should talk about this, but he lets want and need replace logic as he leans in, capturing the pillowy lips of the man on top of him. They breathe against each other, fingers and hands moving to find bare flesh, hooded eyes gazing, noses gently nudging each other. Cam's large hands slide up Noel's sides, shirt coming off, fingertips brushing the sensitive skin of the older man's inner arm as the material is lifted from his body. 

He tosses the shirt aside, sliding his arms around Noel's waist. He splays his hands across bare skin on their way up, curling around the top of Noel's muscular shoulders, fingers gripping tightly. Noel moans softly into Cam's mouth, their tongues tangling together. The redhead's hands journey back down the warm skin of his co-star's back, fingers digging into the flesh at his hips. 

Noel slides back on Cam's thighs, his ass resting on the taller man's knees, hands reaching down to unbutton and slide down the zipper of Cam's pants. He reaches in, fingers wrapping around his girth and slowly stroking him to full hardness. Cam rips their mouths apart, throwing his head back exposing his neck. Noel ducks his head, trailing wet kisses across his jaw, licking down the side of his neck. Increasing the pressure of his strokes on his partner's leaking cock, he bites down gently onto the place where neck meets shoulder.

Cam let's out a rasping moan, wrapping his arms around Noel's waist, biceps flexing as he flips the smaller man onto his back on the couch. Noel grunts at the impact, surprised by how much being manhandled turns him on.

"Show off," Noel whispers, unable to stop the pleased smile he throws the younger man.

Cam chuckles, smiling shyly before leaning over to place open mouth kisses down his neck. Cam's tongue swirls and dips, the tip twirling around an erect nipple. Noel sighs happily, placing one hand to rest behind his head as the other curls around Cam's bicep. The taller man moves across his lover's firm chest, tongue leaving a wet path on hot skin as he moves lower. Cam freezes at the top of Noel's jeans, his bottom lip catching on the rough material when he looks up at him through lust filled eyes. Noel sits up to rest his weight on his elbow, his other hand reaching down to run along Cam's jaw in a loving caress. He swallows hard, giving a nod of permission. 

Cam places a soft kiss on Noel's stomach just below his belly button, popping the button of his jeans open. His lips follow the zipper down, pressing kisses over his pelvis. He reaches around to press into the skin of Noel's lower back pulling the older man's hips into his face, mouthing at his cock through his boxer briefs. 

The redhead's fingers curl around the back of his partner's pants and boxers, Noel lifting his hips as the material is pulled over his ass. His tongue peeks out to trail across the sharp angle of Noel's bare hip following the material of his pants and underwear down with his tongue, dipping to suck gently at his inner thigh. 

Cam sits back on his haunches, pulling the material off his partner's legs completely, Noel bare and heaving under him. Cam reaches his hand up to Noel's neck, his fingers trailing down the older man's chest, pressing deep over his abs, lightly grazing his dick and balls, over his thigh, down to his calf.

"How do you want to do this?" Cam asks hungrily, his hands curled around Noel's legs gently kneading the bare flesh. Noel reaches his hands down to squeeze Cam's powerful thighs. 

"I want you in me. Wanna feel that huge cock fill me up," Noel rasps. He slides a hand down to squeeze the redhead's solid dick through his jeans. "Stretch me out so good I'll feel you for a week."

"Oh fuck," Cam groans, eyes squeezing shut, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows hard.

He moves quickly, leaning down between Noel's spread legs, moving them to rest over his shoulders. His large hands caress his partner's flesh, moving down warm thighs to rest in the crease where leg meets hips, fingers gripping tightly. He takes Noel into his mouth, wasting no time to suck him down until his nose is buried in the older man's soft dark hair. 

Noel keens, the immediately punishing pace with which Cam’s devouring his cock, pushing him to the brink far quicker than he'd like. He attempts to make eye contact but his partner's eyes are closed, his gorgeous pink lips bobbing rapidly over silky skin. Cam wraps his hand around the base of Noel's cock, as the soft head hits the back of his throat, gagging slightly. He pulls off to lick around the ridge, his hand twisting and pulling rapidly as his partner's thighs quiver, his calves pressing hard into Cam's back sighing in pleasure.

Cam reaches under the couch, his hand patting around until he finds what he's looking for. He pulls off Noel's cock, smiling wickedly as he sits up, popping open the lid of the lube.

"SON of a BITCH don't stop!" Noel exclaims, his hands pulling at his own hair as he gasps for air.

Cam leans over his co-star, resting his weight on one hand and the other pressing lube slicked fingers against Noel's puckered hole.

"Even for this?" Cam questions, the tip of his middle finger slowly pressing in, "Thought you wanted me to stretch you out. Wanted to feel me for a week."

Noel's mouth drops open, his tongue peeking out as his hooded eyes meet those of the man above him. Cam dips down, mouth opening to pull a plump lower lip in between his, sucking gently. Noel's hands wrap around the man on top of him to caress his muscular back, tongue pressing in to explore his warm mouth. Cam adds another finger, twisting gently to open him up, swallowing down his partner's gentle moans. 

Noel reaches down to undo Cam's pants, pushing them down his thighs, blunt fingernails digging into full ass cheeks. He uses his feet to push the rough material down as far as he can, their kisses becoming more frantic and sloppy. 

When long fingers begin to press against his prostate, he growls, gripping onto Cam's waist, urging him to sit up with his back to the couch. Noel reaches down to push Cam's pants to the floor, grabbing the condom he sees next to their feet. He throws a leg over the redhead's lap straddling him as he rips opens the foil pack. They both look down as he roles it down Cam's thick throbbing cock. Noel sits up on his knees, pressing his chest to Cam's as he wraps an arm around the redhead's neck. Cam looks up at him, panting softly as Noel reaches behind himself, grabbing Cam's dick to stroke it. His head drops, forehead resting on Noel's shoulder, one arm wrapping around the brunette’s waist as his other moves to tangle into dark hair.

Noel lifts up, guiding Cam's dick to his hole, pressing in slowly… Cam's head lifts, their eyes meeting, panting wet lips parted in arousal. Noel leans his forehead to the man underneath him, their closed lips pressing deeply together once Cam's cock is fully buried inside his lover.

Noel lifts slowly, his hands moving to Cam's chest, fingers brushing against hard nipples as he uses his lover's chest to leverage himself up and down. Cam eyes trail down the hot flesh of the man in front of him. His firm chest, his soft but muscular belly, his bobbing cock. His green eyes lift again, meeting blown out blue, one hand moving to the side of Noel's neck tenderly grasping it, the other reaching down to stroke Noel's cock.

When Noel's down strokes begin to slow in exhaustion, Cam plants his feet and thrusts up. Noel freezes, mouth dropping open in a deep moan as his lover jack hammers into him. His arms wrap around Cam's neck, hands grasping his head roughly, thighs and ass cheeks quaking with the ferocity of their lovemaking. Cam reaches out, fingers tangling in dark hair to roughly pull Noel's mouth to him, their tongues meeting in a wet sloppy kiss, a chorus of moans and smacking flesh filling the small room.

Noel pulls himself away, climbing out of Cam's lap and turning around. He reaches behind himself to grab his partner's slick cock, teasing them both by rubbing the head against himself a few times before pressing in, sinking back down. He leans his back against Cam's chest, gyrating his hips, keeping the hard cock buried inside, pressing against his prostate with every rotation.

Cam's mouth meets the soft skin behind Noel's ear kissing and sucking, one arm wrapped across his chest like a seat belt, hand curling and gently squeezing his throat, Noel's head thrown back onto his lover's shoulder. Cam grasps Noel's dick, jerking him off rapidly.

"Ah fuck yes. Keep doing that," Noel groans, his chest heaving. "Fuck, I'm gonna, I'm, fuck... keep -" he cuts himself off with a groan, his cum spilling over Cam's fist and shooting up his own chest. Noel rocks his hips through his orgasm, feeling Cam's chest beginning to heave as he approaches his end. 

Using Cam's thighs for leverage he pushes himself off the gasping man, dropping to his knees. He quickly removes the condom, tossing it to the floor as he takes Cam's dick in his mouth. "Ah fucking hell" Cam groans, his fingers curling into Noel's shoulders, legs opening wide at the abrupt change in pressure.

Noel sucks down as much as he can of the hard length, right hand curling around the base to make up his shortfall. His left hand dancing along his partner's hard chest, his fingers pushing past his panting wet lips to press into his mouth. Cam's lips immediately close around them, tonguing the digits and sucking hard.

Noel bobbing rapidly on his cock, spit and lube making Cam's lap messy, and it felt nasty in the best possible way. Noel pulls his fingers out of Cam's mouth, moving his hand down to rub against Cam's perineum with one finger as the other slipped into his tight asshole.

Cam nearly chokes on the moan that tears through his throat, his grip on Noel's shoulder tightening as he comes, his stomach clenching and twitching, shooting into his lover's mouth. 

Noel keeps still, Cam's twitching dick in his mouth, moving his tongue along the slit as he tastes the final drops of Cam's release. His eyes flicking up to meet Cam's hooded ones, their eyes locking. He hallows his cheeks, sucking hard as he slowly slides off, Cam chuckling quietly and twitching away at the sensitivity. Noel settles on the floor, his aching knees creaking as he stretches out his legs. He rests his cheek on a pale thigh, his arm curling around the top of both of Cam's legs as he catches his breath. 

"Holy shit that was amazing," Noel murmurs, taking a deep settling breath.

"Mmhmm..." Cam breathes in response, his back against the couch, his neck tilted so he can watch his fingers curling through dark hair.

"Next time I'm fucking you though."

Cam's face brightens, lifting his head to look at Noel with sparkling eyes. "Next time?"

Noel turns to look at him with a smile on his face. "Yeah. I told you I'm done fighting this. What'd you think this was a one-time deal?"

"I just didn’t want to get my hopes up. You're not exactly a free man." 

Noel's eyes drop to the floor, nudging a knuckle against his nose. 

Cam sighs deeply, continuing on as though he hasn't seen the rampant guilt in his co-star’s eyes. "Figured I would just take whatever you'll give me."

"Oh yeah?" Noel asked flirtatiously. "Gonna take whatever I'll give you?"

"Fuck off dick breath," Cam chuckled. "You know what I mean."

They shared affectionate smiles, Noel shifting over to lie his cheek back against Cam's thigh, his hand curling around his shin.

They bask in the comfortable silence, in no hurry to move or get dressed since they’re both done filming for the day, Cam's fingers carding through dark hair, Noel's hand gently massaging muscular calves.

"Hey Noel?" 

"Hmm?" Noel hums, his chin moving to rest on Cam's knee so he can look at the redhead.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

Noel stops stroking Cam's calf, his heart suddenly pounding so fast his chest hurts. He takes a deep breath and let's it out, the puff of warm air brushing through the hair on Cam's leg.

"You don't have to say anything back," the redhead sighs, the stiffness of his lover's back giving away his panic. "I just want you to know."

Noel moves from the floor to sit next to Cam on the couch, lifting the larger man's arm around his shoulder so he could curl into his side, his right leg flung over long muscular thighs. Cam turns his head to rest his lips on Noel's forehead. Not in a kiss, just resting. Soft exhales, fluttering the short dark hairs on his lover's forehead.

"Yeah," Noel sighs sadly. He curls his arm across the redhead's stomach, his fingers gripping tightly into the skin on his side. Noel rests his head against the redhead's chest, whispering the words into his warm flesh, "I know the feeling."


End file.
